Why you always go out for a casual 1 hour or less date the first time....

I've been out of the dating fray, by choice, for many months now. The end of the first real "relationship" after divorce wasn't pretty. In fact, it was downright silly. Breaking up is hard to do. Communicating it several times before it actually catches on with the other party becomes completely frustrating. And, it sortof burns you out to get involved with anyone.

But now, as summer winds down, I started thinking it might be fun to meet a few new people, try new things, maybe even couple up before the cold weather sets in. So, in my quest to meet new guys and not go through the brain damage and expense of some online paid site, I tried plentyoffish.com. Many odd, odd emails later (including one from a guy who only took his pictures in bathrooms) and a couple of awkward coffee dates with guys, I receive a message from "Mr. I Don't Get Out Much" as he will now affectionately be known. He seems shy, kindof geeky, which is just fine with me. We chat. He makes loads of spelling errors, but I'm attempting to be less judgmental and forgive those. He suggests going out on Friday....

Friday night dates are a challenge. They imply that you have hours to spend with this other person and give you ample time to disclose what you do or don't have going the rest of the weekend. They're difficult to escape gracefully from if they're not going well. And thus, I venture to say there are very few first date Friday nights. Have some coffee or a beer first. So, I suggest coffee. He has a prior engagement, so we plan to meet up at 8:30. At 8:30 my phone buzzes and he says he's running a couple minutes late. At 9:05 he arrives. Completely flustered. He sits down and then proceeds to not talk. At all. I spend the next 40 minutes kindof prying info or suggesting topics of conversation in an attempt to be polite.

There are many resons that I won't be dating this particular fellow. I'm sure he's a great guy. But, his favorite food is "diner food". He said, "I don't get out much" about eight times. And, he doesn't drink coffee or alcohol...enough said. I'm looking for a guy who: does get out (but isn't a bar rat), enjoys a cup of coffee and conversation and likes good food. And, well, it would be nice if he can spell, but I'm trying to be less judgmental.