Mr. Tot

"I love tater tots and I hate my kid."

No - this was not a sentence written by a date in an email, but it's how I remember this guy after our third date. First two dates, uneventful. Coffee at Starbucks (where he informed me he hated coffee) and a Bronco game (where the people seated around me informed me that he brings a lot of really stupid women to the game). But the third date was a Christmas party. I was still kindof getting to know the guy. 30 minutes of rushed, caffeinated conversation coupled with screaming at the Broncos to kill the Chiefs does not allow you to get to know someone well.

So, when Mr. Tot invited me to a client's Christmas party in south-suburbia I thought "what the hell". I met him at a neutral location (safety first, right?) and headed out into a blizzard with him towards Roxborough. He was a horrible driver, listened to country music the entire time and talked about how awful his kid was with the occasional mention about how great the food at this party always was.

When we showed up, people seemed surprised to see him, as if he was only invited out of courtesy. Turns out, he'd been laid off from a couple of positions where they had known him from. And, he didn't RSVP that he was bringing a date. And, did I mention, I just survived a harrowing snow storm driving with a guy who admitted it was probably his anger management issues which makes him not like his child. I had determined at that point that there was really no point in seeing him any more. But, he was my ride so I stuck around.

But the food, oh the food, was the memorable part of the evening. A cold spiral sliced ham and tater tot casserole. I'm not a huge fan of the tots. (Unless they're fried in the basement diner at my old dorm and covered in seasoned salt.) But if you shellac them with cream of mushroom soup and cover them with fried onions....I'm rather disgusted. But, dear Mr. Tot said it was the best darn tater tots I was ever going to eat in my life and proceeded to scoop up the biggest spoonful of the nastiness and throw it on my plate.

Covered my carrot sticks and everything.